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Freedom
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Real
"freedom" means the right to be
yourself, who "you"
really
are, it's the freedom...
to go for your dreams and to
re-discover your "original" Self… that got buried under the seductions of achievement and family.
The freedom to dare to keep learning. The freedom to
respect and
treasure your childlike sense of wonder.
This will make you young again! Because
real freedom is something that might not
look bold to others…but to you,
it's
a life-changing adventure. And
since you are an individual... only you can say what that is.
For one person, that might mean... waking up to her own
feelings or "releasing anger". Being listened to... spells the difference between feeling accepted and feeling isolated.
And for another, it might mean... becoming athletic for the
first time or finding a group
of creative friends…or waking
up all
five senses and a few dozen more…
that's what
you've been restless for!
Travel through the unexplored caverns of your own
Soul…
your dreams of escape... were not a mistake... they were
your "initiation"... into
becoming a world traveler, a
great explorer!
Trying to Control "Reality"
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Everyone
of us... tries to control reality, from
the day we
are born and all the
cultures on Earth... have been behind the effort,
every step of the way! But
we never say, "Enough, that's all I can carry!"
Humans aren't designed to live in a
constant state of emergency!
One day...
the machinery is going to break down,
but one
way
or another… the "reality" strikes!
We try to influence fate. When
you are in a working "rut",
when you move to the "paralysis state", even the things
you love, start looking like obligations.
Whatever used to nourish you... dries up... your family
just represents another demand and something else... to feel
guilty about.
The fun you used to have, the things...
you longed to do,
all fall by the wayside and the quality of your work...
isn't what it used to be... either. You're forgetting things,
not taking care of details.
The myth of endless personal power... is beginning to
show "structural" cracks and your heart is "rent".
Buried Emotional Pain
Live in the moment...
the past and future do not exist, forget them!
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Maybe, what really got us running scared... is not our fear of avalanches and microbes, but our cultural training.
The fear of being "overwhelmed" isn't about
work...
it's about buried emotional pain.
Because
when you've piled too much on your
wagon...
and
you're having trouble pulling it... you have a reaction that
comes straight from your past.
Plain and simple, it's the feeling... that no one wants to
take care of you... because no one cares enough.
But
imagine... for a moment, that you're feeling lost and someone very wise and kind... puts a hand on your shoulder,
right now, and says, "Don't worry, this isn't so bad... I'll
help you out.
" What did you feel"?
"Tears
come to my eyes", it felt like
dad... was looking out
for me. That's
what you find out often... in people who make
high demands on themselves… "that they didn't feel taken
care of... as children."
Admitting helplessness... was not an option. It was simply
too terrifying... when they were small. So they became as
capable as they could... at their age, and made
up the
shortfall... with fantasies of power.
That's not enough... to cause the grief
they feel, however…
the grief comes... from the feeling, correct or not, that
"no one" wanted... to take care
of them.
In children... this translates into... the unspoken certainty…
"that they didn't deserve to be helped".
When children... are not taken care of... they
believe they
are not loved... (they don't
feel... merely alone, they feel "unwanted"
and "unworthy").
What
over-extended adults... really fear will
"overwhelm"
them... is a broken heart. (They're afraid the pain...
will flood over
them and they'll drown in it).
But
the flood of pain... can save them... In fact, nothing
else... will make the stress disappear. Fear isn't anything
you
can bluff. (You can't talk your way... out of fear…
you have to go to it's source)! And take away the danger.
In
this case... the underlying feeling you're having. "The
child's feeling of grief"... What's so dangerous about
giving
in... to
the feeling of grief?
If you take some time... to
let the sorrow to the surface,
you'll be pleasantly surprised... by the outcome. You'll
experience the hurt... but you won't
drown or be overwhelmed
at all. Because nothing is more natural...
than releasing
feelings.
Because no
matter how unrealistically bad... any situation
seems, once you've let your feelings out... everything looks
very different and far
more manageable.
You may feel the remnants of sadness... for a little while,
but almost immediately, you'll
feel calm and unafraid.
Childhood
feelings are huge and if they're not dealt with...
they can create enormous stress
in you... If you try to
reason yourself
out of them... they'll stay as powerful as
ever… and you'll have to fake "self-confidence".
Faking anything is exhausting... So turn the job
over to
the "real" master of your emotions...
"the child inside you"
who is having these feelings... in the first place.
She'll
know exactly what to do...
Let
your inner kid show you how.
Find a place... where you
can be alone, and uninterrupted.
*Bring On The Anxiety.
" Look at your checkbook and think
about your expenses or remember all that paper... on your
desk or simply think about all the things...
you have to do". (Whichever makes you feel...
the most overwhelmed,
stressed or tense).
*Pay Attention... To
How This Makes You Feel. Tell yourself, that "this is stress and this...
is what it feels like".
*Now Bring Up The Hurt: For a few moments... close your eyes and pretend you're very young and full of that same
stressed feeling.
*Have
A Deep Sigh:
imagine you're a small child... with
responsibilities... too great for you. *Now Let Your Feelings Rise Up And Roll Over You,
Just as if... you
were a
child, with no inhibitions.
Let your face... express the feelings, just as a 3-year old
might.
Search for the words... that will bring up... the
most intense emotion:
"I hurt", "I feel so
unprotected", "nobody wants to take
care of me", even
"ouch". *Sigh Again
and If A Tear
Falls, all the better! It's a
little scary at first... but releasing your
feelings... won't harm you.
Remember babies do it all the time!
*Keep Your Eyes Closed... For At Least A Minute.
Let the Hurt Feelings roll over you... You'll feel them rise
up in you , like a tide or wave of heat.
Take the Palm of your Hand and press it slightly
on your upper chest... just under the Collar
Bone.
If the hurt is centered there... a deep sigh... will release it.
Or
touch your throat... and see if you want to let out a
quiet groan... Or pat your finger tips... just below your
eyes, on either side of your nose and if
the feeling is
there, you're moments away... from feeling tears in
your eyes.
Try to stay with any form of the Hurt ... until it passes,
and subsides. Then take a deep breath
and release it,
and open your eyes.
*Now check out... what you are feeling...
Pay attention
to your
stress level... Do you feel any more anxiety? You
should feel calm, sad, with no more noise in your head...
just quiet calmness.
Now look at
your checkbook and things on your desk,
that
gave you anxiety... in the first place. Now the things on
the
list... look like harmless facts, something to take care of,
but not a
"threat" to your life.
You
can't think... when you're running scared. That's why
it is so important... to let that hurt out and float
away.
You could
say, "But I'm a grown adult". I would say,
"Good, it takes guts
to cry!" It's a very practical thing
to
do... and keeps you "focused".
Remember this, the next time you're stressed, instead of
pumping yourself up... with "positive thinking" or blaming
someone else... or maybe yourself... for the mess
you're
in.
Or prioritizing your "to do" list... stop and get in
touch
with what you're really feeling... with all that "hurry" and
"worry".
You'll
find that it will save you... an enormous amount of
time, in the long run. By keeping you from tripping or
"losing your keys" or forgetting something...
really
important.
Just release your
feelings... let them out.
And
watch yourself calm down and open up too. "Get
ready... for a small miracle". Look around you, your senses
are awake!
Colors
are brighter… you can even hear... surprisingly
better.
That kind of "openness" and
"focus"... will allow
you to do the best
work, of your life and use half the
energy... to do it.
Nothing
radical… but the next day, lots of
things... that
seemed impossible, are easy
to do. "Crying is powerful
Medicine".
Being completely calm... changes your experience of
Time. Without anxiety driving you... all the "time tangles"
you
got caught up in,
the ones... that made you feel rushed,
even
when you were standing still; fell apart... by
themselves.
You
simply don't feel overwhelmed anymore, no
matter
what you're doing. In fact, you actually have less to do,
in any given
moment. Because your "mind" is not
"pre-occupied" with a sense of emergency.
Whatever you're doing... walking, directing a project, or
writing a report, "you have nothing to do... but what's
in
front of you." The clock, stops acting like a terrorist, and
just
slowly ticks away.
Something
amazing happens... when your anxiety is gone,
every task you do... feels exactly like
what you should be
doing! You
start enjoying your work again.
If you should stop feeling the calmness... it probably
means... you accidentally, got too many
things on your
"to do " list again. And you're getting scared again, you
need to tap into that "sadness" again.
When
your "hurrying" ends, "Time" opens up… the
best
surprise is, that accepting your real limits, gives you real
power.
Once you give up your struggle, to be
"all-powerful",
you'll have the most unexpected feeling… Safety.
You admit that the Universe... is running on it's own axis...
without any help from you. It's
all being taken care of.
You're
not a lonely, frightened, over-worked Goddess...
you're just one small, cozy piece... of the huge dance.
You can quit
tying up all your reserves of energy...
in
"self-preservation" and get on with your life!
You don't have all the power in the world, just the power
you actually need… Once you drop the burden of
"omnipotence" you stop being responsible for the
Universe. You stop wasting
your time, on either
"panic" or "grandiosity".
"I am only human... Is your Motto". The more I realize
the world is bigger than I
am… the more I feel... I
belong in it.
The
dumber I admit I am, the wiser I
feel... wise innocence, innocent wisdom.
Defining Your Own Terms...
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Are we afraid to make demands on life? It takes a lot
of
thrust... to break out of orbit, you may burn out, before
you
break
away... Or you may just find you're headed
toward the stars! Live... like there's no tomorrow! "Innovators" are
inevitably controversial.
Considering how dangerous everything is... nevertheless,
nothing is really frightening! I reserve the right... to define
my own terms!
Who you are... is not a "concept in the sky". And it's not
a record of your achievements either, you need to develop...
your "own" thoughts, re-awaken "your" creativity, recover "your" Originality.
Satisfy
your curiosity... and go after all the important things... "your" spirit
craved, but never had time for.
You need to move your wishes... to the
top, and let the wishes,
of a lot of other people... drop down or fall off
entirely. The greater part of courage... is having done it before".
I am... the reference point. What is the best thing
for me?
Forget people's moods, no arguments, no convincing, no push
or pull, no blaming, no accommodation
and no rebellion.
Whose life is it
anyway?
Your
rights... don't mean much, if you don't
have the courage
to claim them. You do
not have to earn your right to
exist!
 Chronic complaining... is a
substitute for action. Your
life isn't yours, if you accommodate... selfish people.
There's a class of people who never
grow up... and who
have no idea... why they should. I call them, "people
who eat people".
Narcissists, rarely waste time...
suffering in private!
Your
"good person" badge... is looking more and more...
like a booby prize! If you
weren't tied up with these
unproductive
conflicts... both inside and out, and if you
claimed the right... to do what's best
for you, some very
big changes... would happen in your
life!
For
one, you might be relaxed enough... to
let your
"originality" emerge! And then,
you might do something... extraordinary!
One way, is just to take it outrageously... If you ever
want
to startle someone... say something outrageous...
in a calm
friendly voice.
" Since I turned
40, I just do any old thing... I'm
really bad
news." Or,
"I'm pretty sure... I'm going through my Midlife
Crisis".
Be
good... only to the good people!
Self-Sacrifice... is a sin!
Guilt... is not the same
as love. You'll have to take what
you need,
that's why... it takes courage.
That means you will have to stand strong and allow people... to disapprove and be upset.
It also means, you can't "ask" people to see you, as
a person with rights, you have to "become" that person and let them see... whatever they choose.
Our deepest fear... is not... that we are inadequate, it is
our "light", not our darkness... that
most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?"
Actually, who are you... not to be?
But to act
on these words,
you need to belong... to yourself!
To use
your time for yourself... like "Picasso"
or
"Georgia O'Keefe", a woman... who
ran with the wolves!
Quit catering
to manipulators… and have the courage to
act... on your own behalf!
To say
things like, "that doesn't work for me"
will have to
be changed... into "I don't
need permission. I won't die...
if they're mad at me.
I don't intend
to feel guilty".
The courage to refuse... to give in, when you know you
are right. The courage to live your life,
"your" way.
Honor your interests... with the deepest respect! Ignore
your critics! Never let anyone...
tell you "who you are!"
Jack of all trades, Master.
 You weren't put on this earth...
to
sacrifice yourself...
to someone else's success story!
If
somebody else... comes before you,
you'll never become... who you really are.
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"How dull it is... to pause, to make an end,
to rust, un-burnished and not shine... in use".
Dreams...
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We grow great...
by dreams! You're going after your
dreams now! There's nothing frivolous about a dream that comes
from
your real self. It's
your heart... calling to you,
like one of
your own children... trying to tell you what it
needs.
Your
dreams... must be respected, the way the
people
you love... must be respected.
You are
exploring a new country... your brain!
Originality, does not
consist in saying... what no one
has ever said before, but in saying exactly
what you
think... yourself! Do you have any idea...
how unusual
you are?
You're a
combination of talents and abilities and
unique experiences… You have an amazing way... of taking in
the world around you… no
one else would think of.
Create
something as unusual... as you are!
Your thinking... identifies you! You're an original
and
important thinker! You yearn for passion... you're not
ready to leave this Earth... without doing something...
that feels truly important.
The
highlights... of my life, according to
me! Write them
down,
you will be surprised how your vision... of your
life... is completely different, than how people... perceive
your life.
And
every moment indicated... a unique way of
thinking and being... in the world.
You're
not like anyone else who ever lived.
You see...
nothing is wasted. Everything
that's happened to you...
has been laid
out, like a landscape in your mind.
Molded
and transformed... by your unique thought process.
It's the core... of your originality and it's so unusual, you
can spend the rest of
your life... expressing it, and never
be finished.
Remember...
your wishes are the messages,
your "talent", keeps sending you.
Gather
your dreams together... Go into your past... up to
the present and future. Then write
more dreams! This
is
where you begin
the second half of your life.
Your
dreams are already coming true.
"Cradle your wounded places...
like precious babies".
"Be tender to
yourself".
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